Oh, Poo Poo (Part One)
by WillowDaisy
Summary: The Scoobies Learn Too Late why you never, ever mix a Chalupa and a Supreme Burrito


  
  
Buffy sat on the toilet grunting and groaning in distress. BAM BAM BAM! She stomped her foot on the floor and bit her lip. Beads of sweat rolled down her head and her eyes rolled in the back of her sockets as she dropped her latest copy of Teen People on her mother's bathroom floor. Finally, a PLOP, then, another PLOP could be heard, followed by the sounds of sighing in relaxation. The sound of toilet paper being ripped off a roll could be heard.   
  
Buffy wiped herself, and tossed the now brown/yellow/green used t.p. in the toilet. She then reached for the handle on the toilet and pushed it down. But alas, it did not flush. Her eyes widened in panic as she tried again, repeatedly. It was, gasp, clogged. Buffy dived down the stairs, and picked up the phone. She dialed Will's number and prayed she would answer.  
  
"Hello," said the shy, recognizable voice of Willow.   
  
"Emergency…. Toilet… ," Buffy panted.  
  
"Hold on," said Willow. In the distance, Buffy could hear Willow screaming at someone. "DAMNIT TARA DON'T DO THAT WHEN I AM ON THE PHONE! THAT'S FOR BEDDY BIE!" Her voice returned to its normal volume. "What is it?"  
  
"No time to explain, just bring Xander or anyone!!!!" Buffy slammed the phone down and ran up to the bathroom. Her UN-flushed butt wurst was now beginning to glow, regenerate, and get huge. Buffy began to panic. A few minutes later, it was now crowding up the toilet bowl. Then, the doorbell rang, and Buffy thanked God and dived downstairs. Opening the door, she saw Xander, Willow, Giles, and Riley all with worried looks on their faces. Buffy lead them upstairs. Giles face was contorted into a look of sheer horror. Willow collapsed, landing in a pile of poo, and Xander backed out into the hallway. Riley, oddly, picked up a lump of poo and kissed it. Buffy glared at him.  
  
"Buffy, what did you eat," asked Giles.  
  
"Why do my dieting habits have anything to do with this," she replied. Giles grew angry and shook Buffy.  
  
"Just tell me!!!!!"  
  
"All I had was a Chalupa and a Supreme Burrito…" Giles gasped in horror.  
  
"GOOD GOD!!!!" Buffy looked worried, but everyone was distracted by the sound of gurgling as the poo flowed from the toliet. Buffy dragged a collapsed Willow into her room, and let everyone else enter. Then she slammed the door shut, and stuffed an old shirt under the cracks of the door.  
  
"Why should you never eat a chalupa and a supreme burrito together," asked Xander.  
  
"It is a bad omen. It summons the poop gods, Feces and ButtWurst, to wreck havock on the foolish ones who dare combine too many beans and cups of Supreme Sauce," said Riley.  
  
"You know too much," said Xander. Riley grinned evily and nodded. Then, horror of horrors, Riley transformed into a huge pile of poo, with corn chunk teeth. But suddenly, theshirt which had been stuffed under the crack of the door for blockage was blown away, and a little trickle of diarrhea poured into the room.  
  
"The door is under to much pressure. The whole house is going to explode," screamed Willow. Riley laughed evilly, which was pretty impressive for a big pile of shit. Buffy wanted to destroy them, but now the diarrhea was up to their ankles. Then, the door was starting to give way.  
  
"Jump," screamed Buffy. Everyone jumped through the window, just as the door burst open. They all, except shit pile Riley, landed on the ground. "Hands over your heads!" Everyone obeyed just as chunk of poo shot out from the house, damaging it completely.  
  
Everyone stood up, their clothing stained with browns and greens and yellows.  
  
"Hey I do look good in earth tones," said Xander as he eyed his soiled t-shirt.  
  
"You guys, Riley is out and about,"said Buffy.  
  
"We must stop him," said Giles.  
  
"But we need more help," said Willow.  
  
Buffy blinked and then said something. "Los Aneles. We'll find help." Willow stared.  
  
"Are you sure Buffy?" Buffy nodded. Just then, Mrs. Summer pulled up in the driveway with groceries, when she realized the mess of what was her house.  
  
"You better hope your house insurance covers poo havock," whispered Xander to Buffy. Mrs Summers got out of the car, her jaw hanging down.  
  
"SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
To be Continued….  



End file.
